I Have

-->A Little something I wrote awhile back. I just never got around to posting it up. Since I have not written any blogs in FOREVERR!!! Here goes one for you to enjoy. =)

Yes, I Have

I have tried to let the pain heal
I have tried to walk away from the hurt
I have taken every stab you took to my heart
I have let you do me wrong over and over again
And yet, I sit here knowing that inside I am still in love with you

I have let the tears roll down my face
I have gone to sleep with you on my mind
I have waken up to tears with you in my dreams
I have dream't of you leaving me over and over again
And yet, I sit here knowing that inside I am still in love with you....

I have seen the moon at its fullest
I have looked into the stars
I have seen your face in the beautiful night sky
I have prayed to God to help me let you go
And yet, I sit here knowing that inside I am still in love with you

I have tried to move on
I have given someone a chance
I have in return gave them all the love that I still have
I have fought with myself to love another
And yet, I sit here knowing that inside I am still in love with you

I have not talked to you for days, weeks, months, probably will even be years
now
And yet, I sit here knowing that inside I am still in love with you

I do...love you.

***I have not been so honest with myself, because I want to so much move
forward from this area of my past. Even when I know that it has to just
naturally let go of itself. The more I rush this feeling to be gone, to
disappear, it sticks on even tougher. I have to admit this part of my life has
been quite frustrating and there are times I beat myself up for it. But I will
never forget the one day when Nick was so quick to hear my love story. He
listened tentatively for about three hours and then after I was done he asked,
"Are you okay?" I assured him I was fine, it was my fairytale even
though it did not end with a happily ever after. I just smiled at him. He again
asked, "Are you sure?" And I replied, "Yeah..." Then he
said to me "Are you sure you don't want to cry...(pause) You can if you
want to, it's ok. I felt the passion of your love, I saw the love burned
brightly in your eyes. I'm sure when you tell others they see it too, but maybe
they just don't know what else to say to you. Did you know that? (pause).
You're really strong." And then he gave me hug, a hug that was so
reassuring that everything will be ok.


For I know, I will be okay.........