The Unknown

It's not that I don't care anymore

It's not that I don't want it anymore

It's not that we won't ever be the same anymore

But for now....

Yes, I careless

Yes, I don't feel like I want it anymore

And Yes I don't think it will be the same....b/c it will take a little more effort to get there than what I am giving it

For now....

this is all I can give it

I'm tired of doing, I'm tired of thinking, I'm tired of the effort

And I understand without it I won't get anywhere far

But maybe for now....I just want to stay here....

I just want to cry a little bit longer

Hold myself a little bit tighter

Carry the burden a little further

And love a little less

B/c the more I give...people just take and take....and b/c I always over due it.

I always forget to leave a little for myself.

So for now...let me be a little selfish, a little greedy, and a bit stubborn.

I'm just overwhelmed...wounded....hurt...angry....disappointed....bitter....and I just choose NOT to DO it.

I know one person can't do it alone, b/c I failed on that attempt.

So even if you try and I dont, you won't get anywhere either.

I've let myself sink too deep, and I always over analyze everything.

I always care too much, but that is who I am.

And nothing changes that.........

But I also know that when I choose Not to anymore.....I really don't anymore....

I'm not a selfish person, but when I am...I really am selfish.

And then there's time I can see why things happen.

And I can recognize it, but still.....

I just choose not to take on any action or put forth any effort

For every once in awhile a load can get to heavy and I may need to rest

And yes I can be a bit immature

But it wouldn't be me if I wasn't a kid sometimes

B/c we all are sometimes....

B/c a kid does not know when it IS or IS NOT the right circumstances

They just do whatever they want, for that moment they just want the attention

They just want it their way

When a kid, why deal like an adult

When an adult, why deal it like a kid

We all have our moments.

Sometimes we are adults, sometimes we are kids, no matter the age.

Until..........I can wrap my head around my mishaps

Until..........I feel ready again....

Until.........you push me to where I have to

I refuse. I refuse.

I hold my heart w/ "fragile" written all over it

The cover is unveil, I can't protect it much if exposed

So I'm going to hide it a little longer til I feel it's ready

I don't know when that "ready" will be ready

But you won't know it either if you don't do anything

Maybe a little each day will help

It's like sand....if you hold it too tight, you'll just lose it all.

Keep your distance and it'll create even more distance.

Try a little each day........ and maybe it'll grow on a little more each day.....til it's ready....